It is very disheartening & extremely disappointing when people assume that the only way to teach your baby how to go to sleep is to leave them in a room to cry it out! This is a scaremongering belief and could NOT be further from the truth! I strongly believe that helping your baby learn how to self settle is about 100% supporting them and reassuring them through the process. My settling plans are about implementing strong positive sleep associations with an age sleep and nutritional balanced routine, helping you recognise the problem (the sleep crutch) and the effect that this is having on their sleep and your family and setting you up with a plan that is tailored to your situation so you can understand how you can help make changes that will make a difference in your situation. With 20 years experience working with families I have done /recommended it all: I have cuddled babies, picked them up, rocked them, patted them, co-sleeping with them, given them comforters, dummies etc, and in some situations, I have just let them settle without support when warranted. I work WITH you and your baby to find a method that you’re happy with and that works for your baby. I will be honest from the onset – if your leaning one way and I don’t feel that this is right for you I will tell you what my recommendations are and why. Whenever your making changes to your littles ones way of sleeping there will be crying and/or fussing for periods of time. This is normal and together we will support your baby while they learn this new skill.
This is unavoidable sometimes and first and foremost I recommend that you follow you gut in this situation. For any new mother the first time that their baby is sick bring out all the protective juices and you just want to cuddle feed and be there reassuring them. I get it and if that what feels right to you do it, but if you have recently started sleep training and you don’t want to undo all your hard work I recommend that you try to go back to stage one of my settling plan, hands-on help to go to sleep and resettle as necessary. At the beginning of the night, and the beginning of naps when you’re putting your baby to bed, you can manage symptoms of being ill. For example, if they have a cold or they’re teething, you can use some saline solutions, pain relief, and clear congestion as needed, so that when you’re putting them down for their sleep they are asymptomatic. This will mean that there should be no reason why they can’t maintain their current setting ability because they are not uncomfortable. If they’re waking overnight because they are unwell, or uncomfortable. By all means, go to your baby and assist them as necessary. Offer pain relief, comfort as needed but aim to put them back in their cot to fall asleep. I recommend that the best place for your sick baby is to get all the rest that they need in THEIR bed. So, if you need to be close I would much rather that you bring a mattress into your baby’s room and maybe you can sleep there to be close and quickly available to attend to the and reassure them as needed rather than bringing them into your room and into your bed. Once your baby is feeling better they should wake less and feel more comfortable again and as they have maintained sleeping in their cot and not your bed you won’t need to ‘Retrain’ them to sleep in their own bed again.
All consultations come with 3 weeks of follow up support via phone email or video if needed. You can book as many 15-minute check-ins as needed in this time (fair use policy applies) and all email are responded to within 24 hours. Extra support can be booed (for a fee) if needed. – These included virtual coaching sessions. (where I am on the phone with you while doing a settle to support you through – a video link will also be set up so I can see you and your baby at this time). Routine Reviews for quick refreshers after the consultation period ends if needed and longer in-home support if needed If my baby takes a long time to settle to sleep should I start my bedtime routine earlier so they fall asleep at the right time or should I start my bedtime routine from the time it on their routine? Always start the bedtime routine at the time that they should be settling, if you start it 20 minutes early predicting that it will take them 20 minutes to fall asleep they may not be tired enough to go to sleep and this will only make it harder, not easier to settle them.
Your results are determined by your consistency and following the Lullababy SOS methods that we have discussed during your consultation and using your follow up support as needed therefore there is no refund for consultations although I am happy to extend out support where deemed necessary from time to time.
I believe that establishing positive sleep associations and routine associations from early on minimises stress and anxiety for you and the need to sleep train later. Obviously, there’s a different way of treating newborn consultations and sleep training at eight-month-old, and my approach adjusts accordingly – with my newborn consultations it’s really about helping you understand how to set up and get a better understanding of routine structure with good feeding and good sleeping associations and separating the two. I help you work out what’s right for you and your family, helping you navigate through all the information that you receive and find your own path. Basically, the newborn consultation is about helping you set up good foundations, understand sleep science and newborn development so that you don’t have a sleep problem to fix later on. I recently wrote an article on the difference between sleep training and teaching you baby how to sleep as a newborn that I think that you will find interesting. https://www.lullababysos.com.
I believe that establishing positive sleep associations and routine associations from early on minimises stress and anxiety for you and the need to sleep train later. Obviously, there’s a different way of treating newborn consultations and sleep training at eight-month-old, and my approach adjusts accordingly – with my newborn consultations it’s really about helping you understand how to set up and get a better understanding of routine structure with good feeding and good sleeping associations and separating the two. I help you work out what’s right for you and your family, helping you navigate through all the information that you receive and find your own path. Basically, the newborn consultation is about helping you set up good foundations, understand sleep science and newborn development so that you don’t have a sleep problem to fix later on. I recently wrote an article on the difference between sleep training and teaching you baby how to sleep as a newborn that I think that you will find interesting. https://lullababysos.com.au/gentle-sleep-and-routine-foundations-from-birth/
Most babies can sleep through without feeding once well established on solids and eating a good variety of fats carbs and protein throughout the day as well as drinking a reasonable amount of breast or formula for their age and weight. This is typically around 8 months but we all know babies that have sleep through from much later and much earlier. During our consultation, we will spend some time focusing on nutrition throughout the day so we can ensure that these needs for your child are being met throughout the day minimising their need to be waking for feeds throughout the night. My goal is to help your baby sleep through the night without waking for feeds when THEY ARE READY, with a little encouragement from you.
I believe that if you start working on your routine, positive sleep and feeding associations and general overall structure early on (around 8-12 weeks)
When making a booking you will be directed to a questionnaire once you have filled this out I do ask that you keep a 2-3 day detailed diary for me and send me some photos of your family and little ones sleep environment. This information and my 20 years of experience will help me know EXACTLY how I can help you make the changes to get the results you need and what’s right for you and your family.
Yes, you cannot focus on sleep without focusing on nutrition too. Hungry babies don’t sleep.
You cannot be perfect all of the time, nor can you be at home for all naps, all of the time.
Generally, I try to follow an 80/20 rule. Keep in mind, babies under 4 months are a lot more flexible with sleeping on the go. Compared to a baby that is over 4 months.
If you are out and about at naptime with your newborn or baby under 4 months, I recommend swaddling them or using their sleeping bag in the pram or having them in the carrier for a nap.
Be aware when you get home, they may be more overstimulated due to the “nap on the go”, so it is essential that for their next nap, you allow a little bit longer to wind them down to help them soothe and send strong signals that it is nap time[LB1] .
With babies over 4 months, I generally find they will not do anything more than a cat nap while they are out and about. I would suggest trying to do this less frequently; the 80/20 rule comes into play again, 80% at home and 20% on the go.
If they have only had a short catnap in their pram, car, etc, they will need to go to bed sooner for their next nap. Ensure you prioritise the awake window (the amount of time that they should be able to stay awake for their age) and making sure that they have a full tummy before going down for their next nap, but not feeding them to sleep or feeding them just before the nap.
Say you went out for one nap one day, make sure you are at home for that same nap the next day. Anything more than 3 days, and you will usually see a habit-forming.
If I am starting with a client that has a baby over 4 months, my recommendation is that they commit to 3 weeks of being as consistent as they can to help their baby learn their new routine—missing out on a maximum of 1 or 2 naps a week while out and about during this period.
I feel it is important to note that getting out and having a walk in the fresh air or having short trips outside of sleep times is important for mums mental health and baby hormones, and circadian rhythm.
Take each day as it comes, know that babies are not robots, and no one is perfect, neither should your routine be. A routine’s focus is not a strict schedule but more, the repetition of something familiar, creating a habit and comfort around sleep and nap times.
Regardless of where you are on your sleep training journey when your baby becomes ill, you can still maintain good sleep habits while working through their illness to get back on track once they have recovered.
The main thing to focus on is their settling to go to sleep at the start of the night. If your little one is ill, they may need extra reassurance, maybe additional feeds or extra cuddles and TLC overnight. If you can maintain your sleep training (wherever you are up to in the process) at the beginning of the night, as your baby starts to feel well again, they will revert to sleeping better again overnight.
It is common for parents to revert to old habits of feeding, rocking or cuddling their little one to sleep or co-sleeping when their little one is ill. My advice is that the best place for your sick baby is in their bed, feeling supported.
I recommend you manage symptoms at the beginning of the night by offering pain relief as needed. Such as saline solution to clear off any congestion in the nose, using bonjela or teething gel etc, meaning that your baby should be asymptomatic when they go to bed. And if this is the case, you should be able to follow your regular bath and bedtime routine and be able to put your baby down, allowing them to settle as normal.
If their pain relief wears off, or they wake up uncomfortable, you should absolutely be going in and responding to that need by putting your baby back in their cot after tending to them and staying with them. Go grab yourself a mattress or something comfortable to lie on a pillow and a duvet and lie there with them, staying with them and letting them know that “Hey baby, I’m here for you while you’re not feeling 100%” if you can do this, then your baby will feel reassured by your presence.
If they are really sick and coughing and you end up cuddling to sleep, that is fine. But if you can maintain some self-settling at the beginning of the night, as soon as your baby starts to feel well again, they will begin to sleep again as they did before, still recognizing those routine patterns they are familiar with.
The idea with our settling plan is that after 2 to 3 weeks of being strict at home with our sleep teaching is that most babies will be able to do their naps either in the pram or at somebody else’s house? Unfortunately, most babies will sleep really well mobile and not sleep well at home or sleep well at home and not sleep great when they are mobile or out of their usual environment.
The goal with teaching your little one how to sleep with a routine and helping your baby become a more confident sleeper is that when they know their nap time routine, how to go to sleep and how to link sleep cycles while having better quality sleep overall they should be able to settle easier in a strange environment but with a familiar routine.
We cannot be consistent all of the time it’s just impossible. What we like to do with our routine is have an 80/20 rule – 80% of the time were we are consistent 20% of the time- life gets in the way and we are not so consistent.
That life getting in the way maybe that you’re going away for a few days or you’re at a friends place for lunch and they may need to have a sleep in the pram or car. Chances are that this nap in the car will tend to be a shorter sleep or if they fall asleep in your arms at a friends place they may only do a catnap but the good thing about having 80% consistent is that they will cope with a catnap in the pram or a day where they have a shorter sleep because they sleep well mostly.
My advice would be don’t be afraid to go out during naptime and don’t be afraid to put them in the pram or the car for a long car ride if needed at nap time it’s all about trial and error if you are out and about one day, try to be at home and be consistent the next day. If you are away on holidays for a few days aim for one good nap in the accommodation and a consistent bedtime routine at night. This will help them to know the event though the environment is different the routine and my parent’s behaviour is the same.
Once you return from holidays spend a few days getting back into the flow.
